To stay at the hotel is nice, and much of the occupants do not move. An army of staff is there to offer you drinks, massage or a haircut. The patio offers the opportunity to read some Western magazines and especially to discuss among travelers. You take a copy of the "Time" or the "Spiegel" and soon abandon it at the first opportunity of a conversation. It's like a "Grand Hotel" for twenty francs a day. So I talked at length with the Germans in a language mixed with French, English and German about everything. Among them was one that my sexually frustrated mind figured offering himself passively. He announced later that "The research" was the favorite book of his “friend”. I imagined then him offering himself to me. I think I have reached a stage of erotic obsession where my affair with Sven was only the premises; nothing really emotional, just the need to feel a sweaty skin against oneself, a shift in the privacy of another and the pleasant self-reflection in his eyes. I tried to analyze the reasons of my desire for someone, actually quite ordinary and wondered if the satisfaction of certain sadism on willing masochism was not the height of my excitement. If Von Masoch and Sade were respectively French and Austrian was perhaps no coincidence, it could reflect a fundamental cultural basis.
The Germanic race with a natural feeling of power (physical, economic) most developed, the enjoyment is in the sense of being lowered, like those company managers tyrannizing their employees and getting whipped in brothels. On the opposite, the French, too puny, find their enjoyment in the overvaluation of their ego. The bad treatment of the partner brings the satisfaction of the feeling of superiority which is generally insufficient. I shall not escape this pattern except that the enjoyment is in the satisfaction of the perversity of the other, giving him the role of the master in the game. I'll find an opportunity to invite this German in my room.
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